Will Not Back Down
by randomle26
Summary: [Taking place after Young Justice Episode: "Salvage"] After doing his best to persuade Red Arrow to give up his search for the 'Original Speedy', Richard Grayson (now Nightwing) seeks comfort in an old friend.
1. Fallout

**AN: For a period of time, I wasn't interested in _Young Justice_ (because I have the tendency to be one-sided and stubborn towards TV shows) but too many damn posts about it keep showing up on my Tumblr dashboard.**

**So I eventually did get interested and started watching it (but the only thing that bothers me is my constant asking myself 'where the hell do I know that voice?')**

**I really wanted a_ Raven _character in Young Justice, but I can settle with my own ideas. **

**My characters are OOC (as always). I'm still stuck with the idea of Roy Harper and Rachel Roth being close friends and the idea of Richard Grayson and Rachel Roth being the best couple ever (opinionated!) so that's going to be incorporated in the story!**

**This takes place after Young Justice episode, Salvage.**

**Sorry for any inaccuracy and spelling/grammar errors. **

**But you don't want to hear more of my Author Notes.**

**Song for Tittle: Will Not Back Down by Alex Band**

**Song for the Chapter: Fallout by Marianas Trench**

* * *

_I'm on the ledge while you're so_

_God damn polite and composed_

_And I know you see me,_

_And you're making it look so easy_

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

I landed on the balcony (gracefully of course) and opened the porch door. All I could think about was how many times I've told _her _to keep her balcony door locked.

She responded with "if I nit-picked at her again, I would be forced to see a doctor to remove her shoe from my ass" (direct quote).

I quietly walk in towards her dark bedroom. I remembered every single knick-knack in her room from when we were living together, not that she knew I was in her room to begin with.

Seeing that she wasn't in her room, I was tempted to look around her apartment. My stomach growled in protest to that. Knowing she wouldn't mind, I casually walked to her kitchen as if I've been living in her apartment for years.

I've been here _enough_ to say I should be living here.

I open the fridge when I hear, "I thought _vigilantes _knew that 'breaking and entering' was bad."

I turned around to see _Raven_ staring at me with her hands on her hips. I smirk back at her, "Well it's nice to know you're not pointing your gun at me _this _time."

I quickly look her up and down. Her hair is slightly pinned up. It's new to see her wearing a green button down shirt tucked into her jeans as opposed to seeing her in a leotard and blue cloak.

Her shiny badge is placed peacefully at her belt next to her gun.

I hold my arms out, "So, _Special Agent Roth_, are you going to shoot me or hug me?"

She smirks and walks over to me wrapping her arms around my waist. I reciprocate and burry my mask into her hair.

After taking a sniff, I push her arm distance away, "You smell like coffee."

She moves my arms and takes off her leather jacket, "I thought you liked coffee."

"I do…" I say sitting down at her dining table, "I'm just not used to _you_ smelling like it."

"Do you usually get home this late?" She chuckles and grabs two mugs, "It's…becoming a pattern."

She takes out tealeaves and a green kettle (gift from Bumblebee). She gestures to me asking if I want any, and I reply with a silent glance.

"So why are you here, _Nightwing_?" I inwardly cringe being unadjusted to the formalities.

I sigh thinking about how I spent my night/morning, "_We _tried talking to Roy."

She hands me a cup of tea and sits next to me, "I'm guessing 'we' means you, Wally, and most likely Oliver. Are you trying to convert me to the 'Roy-Harper-reform' club?"

"Sarcasm still present, Rae? And no. I'm just…tired. He's not _hearing_ us."

"He's hearing you. He's just not listening." She leans on her hand, "You can't blame Roy, though."

"We're just trying to tell him that he's going to get himself killed. He's tired and he can barely fight now."

"Help him and go look for the _original_ Roy Harper."

"We…I guess _I_ can't get my hopes up again looking for the _real_ Roy Harper."

She laughs and squeezed my hand, "I find it funny that someone so devoted to _never_ giving up 'hope', _gave up_ 'hope' in finding his friend." I raise my eyebrow at her.

She sighs, "_Nightwing_, don't you remember? When I went into the whole 'Trigon's going to destroy the world' fiasco, you were there for me. You got me out of hell. You know why?" Why does she keep calling me 'Nightwing'? She knows my real name.

"You really going to use that against me?"

She smiles, "I'm just helping you figure it all out."

I keep in mind (internally) that we're _still_ holding hands.

"So why did you come home so late?" I ask gulping a mouthful of hot tea.

She sighs and lets go of my hand (sadly). Taking a sip of her tea she sighs, "Just a murder case. You don't need to worry."

"It's _you_," I reply with a smirk, "I _always_ worry."

I stare at her clock, "Dammit. Bruce wanted me to go to some _ball _thing tomorrow night. And I haven't come up with a good excuse on why I can't go."

"It's technically morning,_ Nightwing_. It's now…Valentine's Day."

I smile at her, "I didn't forget."

She takes her empty cup to the sink, "Just waiting for a ring, _sweetheart_."

I stare at her as she walks away. I began overthinking her sarcastic comment (which I'm pretty sure wasn't intentional).

She sits in front of me once again, "You thinking about Roy?"

_Let's go with that_. "I don't know what to do, Rae. It just…won't go through his head."

She gets up and walks behind me. Relaxingly, she massages my temples and puts her chin in on top of mine, "I'll talk to him."

"Yeah…he'll _listen_ to you better."

As she kissed my head and massaged my temple, I couldn't help but close my eyes and relish in the pleasure of Raven's fingers. I really really (really) missed her.

She places a kiss against my cheek. Her right hand keeps fingering my mask making me anxious if she plans on taking it off (she's seen my eyes before, it's just habit), and her left hand is sensually rubbing my chest.

This moment now reminds me of the _other_ times I visited.

"Do you plan on leaving through the balcony or the door?"

I remove her hands and look back up at her, "I beg your pardon?"

She smiles and walks back in front of me, "It's late, _Nightwing_. Don't you have that ball-thing later?"

I grimace and grab her wrists pulling her petite figure onto my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck. I began to kiss up her arm and ask, "Why do you keep calling me 'Nightwing'?"

She chuckles, "That's your name isn't it?"

I sniff her skin as my lips make their way up to her shoulder, "I know but…I don't like it when you call me that."

"What would you prefer? I can't really call you '_Robin_' anymore."

I smile and place butterfly kisses on her neck, "Just call me _Richard_. Like you used to."

I feel her chest exhaling. She pushes my mouth away and gets off my lap, taking her warmth with her. She reaches out her hand and I grab it.

She pulls me out of the chair saying, "A _lot_ of things aren't like they used to be."

Somehow, my visits always are like this. I would tell her about something (or vice versa) and then we would get close and kiss or cuddle with each other. Then one of us would be forced to separate from the other.

I sigh and wrap my arms around her holding her as tight as possible, "Do you want me to go?"

She sighs into my chest and I rub her back, "You already know the answer to that."

I stare at her beautiful face. On top of her cute little nose are her violet eyes boring into mine. I glance down at her plump lips that are slightly pouting. I'm tempted to bite that lower lip. For a half-devil, she looks more beautiful than an angel.

I place my gloved hand over my mask pulling it off. I see her eyes glow (they always did whenever I revealed my eyes). I then hold her face in my gloved hands, "I can stay for a little while."

She sighs and attempts to turn her face to look at the clock, but I hold her in her place. "I have to be at work soon."

I lovingly place a kiss on her neck, "How soon?"

"Around 6," she replies absentmindedly as I'm kissing her collarbone.

I undo one button, "That's not _enough _time." I can't tell if she's feigning innocence when she asks, "Time to do what?"

I chuckle against her shoulder and move my lips towards her jaw, "To celebrate Valentine's Day."

She sighs and I undo another button, her white bra slowly beginning to stare back at me.

"_Richard_…" she moans, a mixture of lust and love beginning to swell inside of me.

I look at her eyes and I can tell she wants this just as much as I do. I hold her face, "I now have a _reason_ why I can't go to that thing tonight."

She places a chaste kiss on my lips, "What about the people that'll need saving?"

I rub my nose against hers smiling, "They're not important _right now_."

* * *

Her smooth, pale, skin is burning against mine. I wrap my arms around her stomach and begin tracing invisible circles across her delicate stomach.

"How was it?" I murmur against her back.

She turns around, her eyes sparkling, "…It was _okay_."

I growl and kiss her lips, "Are you saying you've had _better_?"

She runs her nail across my chest, "Maybe."

"So you're saying the _other_ guys who've been here are better than _me_?"

She giggles (which is weird coming from Raven) and kisses my nose, "It was…indescribable."

I cockily lay on my back, my hands behind my head, "I'm taking that as a compliment."

She playfully pushes my shoulder, "You're such a _dick_."

"That's my name, babe. Don't wear it out. Although I wouldn't mind hearing youscream it,_ again._"

She smiles and I pull her as close to me as possible. I rest my chin on top of hers. She looks over my shoulder at the digital clock on her wall, "I still have 2 hours until I have to go to work."

I kiss her forehead, "You don't _have_ to go."

"I do if I want to solve my case." I groan in response.

We stare at each other for a while. I review my handy work. She has passionate bruises on her breasts, her shoulders, and on her thighs.

"Don't you want to stay like this forever?"

She outlines my face with her finger, "You mean in bed?"

"No. I mean…you and me," I pull her closer (if even possible). "Do you…ever think about it?"

She sits up pulling the blanket with her, "I didn't know you thought about this." I lean on my arm, "What makes you think that?" She sighs, "Because, Richard, you only visit whenever _you_ need help. "

I sigh in frustration and plant kisses on her bare back, "That's…not…the _only_ reason." She turns to me, "Flattery won't get you far."

I stare at her finally taking this scene in. She looks so beautiful right now (not that she doesn't look beautiful other times) with her hair in disarray; she's not covered in the cloth of her clothing, and I can see the _real_ her.

"I love you, Raven."

She turns to me with a smirk, "You're just saying that because it's Valentine's Day." I smile, "If you want, I can tell you everyday. Knowing you, you'd get annoyed."

She sighs, "I have to get ready for work." I shake my head and pull her by her waist back into bed, "Take the day off. C'mon Rae, just…lay here…with me."

She turns to me, "This case is important."

"And what about me, huh, Rae?"

She sighs placing a kiss on my forehead, "I can't talk about this right now."

I grab her wrist before she leaves to go change, "Raven. I'm not just some one-night-stand."

She growls at me, "_Don't _act like I don't know that, _Dick_. I just can not talk about it _right now._" I would scream if Raven used her "I can't feel" excuse in this moment.

I get up from the bed and we both begin to redress, "I shouldn't have come here tonight."

She sighs and we glare at each other, "It's in the past. You can forget it, but you can't take it back." I can't tell if she's referring to us _making love_ or the fact that I told her _'I love you'_.

She doesn't get that _regret_ isn't the problem. I grab her wrist so she's forced to turn to me, "Raven. Do not, for a second, think that I would." She looks up at me with a blank stare. I place a gentle kiss over her plump lips savoring the taste of her.

She places one hand on my neck trying to bring me even closer as I wrap my arms around her waist.

I know that I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help myself. I wasn't going to let her go yet, not like this.

"I love you, Rae." I whisper against her lips. We finally pull away. I grimace, "No snarky comment, Raven?"

She looks at me with sad eyes, "I…I don't know what to say."

"How can you not?!" She shakes her head. She takes my mask off the floor and places it on my face. I savor the feeling of her fingers against my skin.

When she's done, I'm looking at her. Sometimes I feel like I'm not the only one wearing a mask. I hold her wrists steady.

"Can you tell me…that you don't feel the same? Because, Rae, I'm looking at you…and I can tell that last night, right now, meant something." If they were hiring parts for sappy, hopeless romantic on a soap opera, I would get the part hands down.

She shakes her head. I've only seen her this…broken… once. Without hesitation, she looks back up at me, "If I said that…I-I would be lying."

I can't help but smile and bring her into another passionate kiss. That was probably the closest thing to _'I love you, too'_ that I was going to get from Raven. And I would savor it with everything I had.

She pulls away, unfortunately, and looks me in the eye, "We'll _talk_ again, soon. Okay?"

I can't help but let go of my anger. I smirk, "I'm holding you to that, Rae."

After a few final kisses I turn to her balcony. I stand in front of her door and watch her walk out, and she walks away without looking back at me.

I'm perfectly fine with that.

I feel like I'm on heaven. Indirectly, Raven told me she loved me. Something I've waited for since I was…16.

I know the talk we're going to have wouldn't be as pleasant (or as terrifying), but it would suffice. I would get to see her again. And soon.

And maybe, just maybe, I'd get her to say those 3 special words for real, this time.

* * *

**I know this is kinda sketchy, and some of it doesn't make sense. I intended for it only to be a one shot, but I decided to make it a little bit longer and expand it. **

**The next part is going to be a scene with Raven and Roy. **

**I still believe that they would probably have a really cool friendship (my other story, _Someone to Fall Back On_, is about their friendship somewhat as well).**

**And I do plan on writing about Raven and Richard again.**

**Please Read and Review **


	2. Fairytales

**AN: Here's the 2nd part of the story! I hope you enjoy it!**

**As always, pardon my spelling/grammar mistakes and inaccuracy (if any, most likely there is). And keep in mind that my characters are always OOC.**

**Song: Fairytales by Serenity**

* * *

_Please forgive what I've done to you_

_All my words so hard to say, I'm blue_

_Tried to find another way than losing the best man_

_But love is incalculable when there's no time to wait_

* * *

_**Raven**_

_He's not going to ditch you_.

Maybe having Roy meet me at the roof of my office building was a bad idea. But no, for us both, rooftops were…calming.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I take it out and look at the screen.

_**Dick**: Dying, about to go to this ball. Can we talk tonight? Say around midnight._

God, Dick Grayson was going to be the death of me. His dreamy blue eyes. His big arms. His strong jaw. And that was just his physical appearance. He had a big heart, and his over-cockiness could be adorably annoying (if that makes sense).

I'm still silently raving over the fact that we _made love_ (God I sounded pathetic). It was something I wanted since I was younger. Although, it was something I never truly pursued. I figured he was perfect with Kori anyways.

I hesitate in answering. Looking at my phone, it was already 7 'o clock. I look around looking for Roy.

_**Rachel**: Yes. But, use the front door this time._

Silently waiting for his reply, I stare at my wrist. I glance at the black, metal bracelet on my right arm. It was a gift from _Victor_. With my magic, and his technology, I was able to keep my powers controlled (in the bracelet). It preserved my power and allowed me to show emotions.

"Am I interrupting something?"

I turn around and see my best friend, Roy Harper, staring back at me. He had…facial hair. I find that weird.

"Actually," I respond cautiously, "You're not. We…need to talk, Roy."

He groans putting down his bow, "Please don't tell me you're going to lecture me about the 'Original Roy'."

I sigh and slowly begin to sit next to him. "Yes, Dick told me."

He stares at me funny, "Finally drink the Kool-Aid, Rae?" I smirk slyly, "I'm more persuasive then they are, though."

He turns from me looking straight ahead. I look at him noticing his facial features.

"I'm not going to tell you what you're doing is wrong, Roy." He turns back, "What?"

"Would finding the 'Original Speedy' make you happy?"

"I…I think it would…" I chuckle, "If you're hesitant about it, I don't think you mean it."

He puts his head in his hands, "I saw…my daughter."

"Yeah, Lian is beautiful." He stares at me funny silently asking me how I knew. I cock my head to the left, "_Jade_ didn't tell you? She asked to stay at my place one night, so I let her."

"You, Raven, are the weirdest fed. I've ever met, considering you let a master assassin stay at your apartment." I laugh, "Well I wouldn't be me if I didn't creep some people out."

"You're not creepy, Rae. There's nothing wrong with being different."

I stare at him hard, "You still haven't answered my question, Roy? Are you happy?"

He looks down at his hands, "I think…I will be happy once I find the Original Roy."

"Why?" "Why are you asking me all of this, Raven?" "I'm trying to understand your motive so I can give you proper advice."

He stares at me once again. I hear him murmur something about me being a good agent.

"I think that if I can teach the original Speedy about today, and about how to fight crime, I can…finally give up the whole superhero business."

I put my hand on his arm and rub it softly, "Okay. Then I'll help you."

"Yeah right," he scoffs, "Dick, West, and Oliver tried that."

I sigh and playfully push his shoulder, "I'm not going to help you _look_ for him. I'm going to provide you with tools to go look for him."

He stares at me funny awaiting my explanation. Beginning slowly, "Roy, I'm not _Nightwing_ or _Green Arrow_. If you ask for my help, I'll put my everything into it. I'm not going to _abandon_ you." (I didn't mean to speak ill of Oliver and Richard; it's just the only way he'll understand.)

I hand him an ID and badge. "Rae, I'm not understanding."

"I'm giving you an opportunity. I'm giving you a position on my team."

He looks at the ID and then back at me, "Yes Raven, I'm still very very confused."

"Look, Roy. You need government access. It can lead you to all the projects or give you ideas of where the original Speedy might _really_ be hiding."

"What's the catch, Raven?" I smirk, "Since I'm giving you all this, you have to work with me, on my team. That means following my orders and actually contributing."

He looks down at the badge once more, then back up at me with a hinted smile, "This will help?"

"How the hell do you think I contacted you? And you don't even have a cellphone."

He wraps his arms around me in a warm embrace, "Thank you, Raven." I kiss his cheek, "You're my best friend, and you need my help. It's what we do."

We break apart. He smiles sadly, "I'm only doing this until I find the _real_ Speedy."

I shrug with a smirk, "You never know. You might actually like working with me."

* * *

I'm nervous. I can't help it.

Last night, opened up so many new things.

I wanted to be honest with _Nightwing_- who apparently doesn't like it when I call him that. He…wanted me to tell him "I love him".

And I do. I really do.

_So what's the problem?_

Happy, Love, and Lust wanted me to run into his arms the minute he came through the door.

But the practical sides knew that wasn't going to happen.

What would we talk about? What was there to talk about?

_It should be simple_.

He told me he loves me. I just have to say the same. But I couldn't figure out why I knew this was going to be…so hard.

This time, I couldn't _blame_ my emotions (blame being the operative word). Once in my entire life, my emotions wasn't a problem (one of the times I hate that Victor is good with technology).

Maybe I was worried that at some point he would choose the citizens that needed saving over me.

Maybe I couldn't compare myself to the other women in his life (Kori, Barbara, Zatanna).

Maybe being with him would be great, and I'd finally do something I've dreamed of since I was a teen.

Maybe…just maybe, I was afraid that he would wake up one day and realize that…

I'm not good for him.

The many cases I solved, the victim's I gave closure to, and the people I saved wouldn't make up for what I was.

He was my miracle, my angel.

And angels can't be with demons.

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

"_You told her you love her?!" Wallace is a great best friend._

"_Yes I told her I love her, is that so bad?" "It wouldn't be as bad if you two were in a relationship, which you're not!"_

"_But we…had sex." "Wow. Is she that good? Because it wouldn't make sense if you told every girl you had sex with you loved them."_

"_Raven's different!"_

_Wallace stares at me funny, "Okay if you can give me 3 reasons to prove you love her…"_

"_I can!" I say without hesitation, "One, obvious aside, she's beautiful. Two, yeah she has a sarcastic personality and can be a know-it-all sometimes, but she's just so…unbelievable and kind. Three, she knows me better than anyone else and she's always been there for me."_

_Wally pauses to take in what I just said. It was all true, and it was barely half of how I felt. _

_Wally sighs, "It sounds like you mean it." I can't help but laugh, "That was what I was trying to tell you."_

"_I was just making sure man," he puts his hand on my shoulder, "You may be my best friend and all, but Raven was my friend too. I don't want you guys to put me or any of the rest of us in the middle when you break up or something."_

"_Who the hell said we would break up?"_

* * *

Am I nervous? Why should _I _be nervous? I'm Nightwing. I was the first prodigy of the great vigilante, Batman. I was leader of the Teen Titans. I founded _The Team_.

So why was I nervous to go into Raven's apartment tonight?

_Because you told her you love her, and you're worried that she doesn't really feel the same way. She hasn't really said it in her own words yet._

She said we would talk _soon._ Maybe it was too soon.

No. It wasn't. I had to get this off the backburner. She had to know that I…I love her.

She makes me crazy. Her long hair flowing on her shoulders. Her beautiful violet eyes always staring into mine. Her outrageously gorgeous body (I can't help it, I'm a guy). And her lips. God don't get me started on those perfect lips.

Ever since I met her I imagined us having a future together. She'd make tea for both of us, then we'd read together in each other's presence. It sounds really similar to what we had when we were younger, but the difference between the past and my vision of the future was that…there would be a beautiful ring on her ring finger.

I wanted that. I fight for that. I fought crime and corruption for a future. A future with Raven.

_Mrs. Rachel Grayson_ had a nice ring to it.

I was getting ahead of myself, I needed to focus on today. And how I might either keep or lose the one person who means so much to me that I'm at a loss of words.

I've fought bad guys and aliens I shouldn't be so terrified to face Raven (despite the fact that she's half-demon) I finally gain my courage and open the door.

There she is, looking beautiful and tired. She's sitting in her brown loveseat looking out the window. I noticed that instead of wearing her work outfit, she's just wearing a cami and (what the hell?) _Hello Kitty _pajama shorts. She also has a French braid flowing down her shoulder.

"How is it that an empath didn't hear me open the door?" I don't have to see her to know she was smiling, "I know you opened the door."

"The window can't be more interesting than me." "It's not the window, it's the view."

"Is the 'view' wearing a rental tux?" That's when she finally smiled at me. I close the door and walk closer to her, "Where the hell did you get those pants?"

She smiles and puts down the tea cup she was sipping, "It was a gift from Garfield." _That explains so much_.

"You never wear anything I get you!" She chuckles placing her cup in the sink, "I can't wear books." I smile and walk closer, "I mean the _other_ gifts."

"Oh," she smirks knowingly, "Okay, those gifts would get me very rude nicknames if I wear them in public." I smirk back, "I liked that you wore it last night." She chuckles back, "I actually had no idea that you were going to be here, let alone see underneath my clothes."

I was about to say something snarky, but she laughs stopping me, "We better stop before we get distracted." I sigh, "Why? I like talking to you." "About this stuff?" I smile at her knowingly, "Definitely."

We both share a laugh before silence took over.

"You look really nice in a rental tux," Raven says looking at me up and down. I undo my bow tie, "Well, Bruce didn't like the idea of me walking into a ball in jeans."

I walk towards her placing my hands on her waist, "It would've been nice to have a date. You look nice in a dress."

She smiles, "I…I'm not really one for dresses." "Doesn't mean you would look bad in one. I think you'd look particularly…sexy."

She stares at me. She runs her hands through my hair as I pull her closer. We finally kiss passionately. I just can't get enough of this woman.

I run my fingers through her hair loving the feeling of the silk feeling in my hands.

I pull away and put my forehead on hers, "Raven, are we going to actually talk tonight?"

* * *

**I think it's obvious what the next parts going to be like!**

**Read and Review Please :)**


	3. Happily Ever After

**AN: Here's the 3rd part of the story! Please enjoy and mind my inaccuracy and spelling/grammar errors (if any). If you have problems with any of this, keep in mind that everything is really OOC.**

**Song: Happily Ever After by He Is We**

* * *

_Inhale, breathe steady, exhale,_

_Like you're ready, if you're ready or not.  
Just a boy and a girl trying to take on the world_

_And we want to get caught.  
In the middle of a very happy ending,_

_Let's see what we've got, let's give it a shot._

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

I do my best to wait patiently for her response. She escapes from my grasp. In front of me is the woman I love. Her back is to me as she's undoing her braid.

"Raven…" I trail off cautiously. I want her to say something. She can tell me then and there that she doesn't love me and I would be okay (of course not really), just as long as she said something.

She takes a deep breath and I watch her place her face in her hands. She shakes her head as I attempt to walk closer. I'm unsure if she wants me close to her not.

Finally, she takes her hands from her face and faces me. She puts her hands to her side and says, "I thought it was pretty obvious…how I feel."

"Rae, keep in mind that half the time we lived together, you were emotionless," she smiles at my attempt at a joke.

She sighs, "Richard…I…I really do-" I get closer and hold her hands, "You don't _have_ to say it, I know. Although I would prefer that you do say it later."

_Why do I have a feeling that it's not this simple?_

"This is one of the shortest conversations I've ever had." She chuckles dryly, "I think _this_ conversation is far from over, Dick."

I shrug and let go of her hands, "What else is there to say?"

"Richard, _you_ know just as I do that there's more to talk about." "Then talk."

She sighs thinking carefully. She looks up at me with sad eyes, "I can't date '_Nightwing_'." I look at her confused, "Um…Rae, I've explained to you plenty of times that-"

"No, Richard. I can be with…you know… 'Richard' but I can't be with a vigilante who spends his nights fighting crime and getting himself killed."

I look at her in shock. I don't know why but I was angry. It was noticeable, especially when I responded with, "Yes because your job is a walk in the park."

She opens her mouth to respond before I continue, "Raven, you don't think I worry about you? You're a _federal_ agent! Whenever you walk out the door, there's a 50-50 chance of you getting shot at. In broad daylight!"

We both stare at each other for a period of time. I stare at her, "Rae, I never thought my safety would be a problem. You understand that-"

"-it's dangerous, but you do it for a greater cause. I know, I get it. Hell I've done it."

"Then it shouldn't be a problem."

I sigh and walk even closer to her, "Rae, what's the real problem? I sure as hell know it's not me being 'Nightwing' and that you're just stalling." She feigns confusion, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I hold her face in my hands, "Raven. I know you, and you always manage to find a flaw in something, including yourself." She opens her mouth to respond, but I beat her to it, "I see no problem with us being together. Why do you?"

She moves my hands from her face. I study her right then and there and notice things I don't remember seeing before. There are circles around her eyes. Her lips aren't as shiny as they used to be. I can't explain it but it seems like Raven is only half there.

I know Raven won't tell me how she's truly feeling (she's learned half her life to keep her feelings in check) so I decide to put my detective skills to use.

"Is it The Team?" I see a glint of disgust in her eyes, "Which team?"

I exhale, "Raven I thought we talked about this." She crosses her arms over her chest, "You already know what I'm going to say." I look at her helplessly and see no sympathy, "Okay I'll give you that. I shouldn't have left the Titans to form another team." I grab her right wrist, "But let's stop talking about everyone else."

Her eyes soften, "I'm sorry. I know that it must've been hard to leave us." I nod in agreement, "And I bet it was even harder for you to watch them fall apart soon after." I can see a snarky comment running through her head, but she decides to ignore it.

I'm frustrated because she's not being honest. "Raven, we are getting nowhere with this."

"Well I'm sorry if I'm not as direct or open as Kori. Or as demanding as Barbara. Or as sly as Zatanna."

* * *

_**Raven**_

_Why, in the name of Azar, would you say that?!_

He already knew I was just trying to run him in circles, disguise how I really felt. I know that our conversation was already in disarray but I couldn't help it. I was normally good with changing the subject, I've done it for years.

But that was the thing with Nightwing. He always saw right through it.

"Raven, _please_ tell me you're not jealous." I stare at him, my eyes hard…and a cup breaks.

Dammit. I reach over the counter to grab my bracelet and place it on my arm.

He sighs in frustration, "Sweetheart, you know that if I wanted you to be Zatanna or Kori, I would ask Victor to just make me one. And I don't even like Barbara in that way, she's like my sister. That would be weird if I was interested in her like that."

He places his hands (which for the first time since I've known him are not covered in either bandages or gloves) and places them softly against my neck. I don't know if he's consciously doing it, but his index finger is rubbing tiny circles along my neck.

"Baby, I did love them before, but I'm not _in love_ with them. I'm in love with you."

_And I'm in love with you too! I just don't know how to say it._

"Rae," I always secretly got tingly whenever he called me that, "What are you so afraid of? Are you really jealous of those other girls?"

I sigh and move his arms once again, "It's not that I'm jealous _of _them." I mutter mostly to myself, "I'm nothing like them." Unfortunately, the Boy Wonder hears me, "Rae, why would you want to be like them?"

"Because they're beautiful," I say taking a deep breath, "Because they're open and don't have anything mentally wrong with them. Because they don't have to control their emotions 24/7. Because…they're perfect for you. Hell, I bet everyone believes that."

He shakes his head, "Who believes that? I don't. I think that you're perfect for me."

I feel this urge in me saying that if I don't confess now, I won't get it out later. "I know _you _think that. But you think that _now._" He stares at me funny, "Raven I don't understand." "You think that I'm all these wonderful things now. I'm not sure if it's just temporary or whatever. But I don't want to be with you if you one day wake up and decide that I'm…that I'm not enough, and that you want more."

"I feel like you only need me to fill this void. I'm assuming that I'm the only constant thing in your life. I'm not just some placeholder you use until you find something better. I feel like… you're going to use me until you don't _want_ me anymore and then realize that there are so many better things out there. Then you'll leave and…" I trail off thinking more to myself. Just the image of being his friend and being at his wedding when he marries the girl he deems perfect enough to be his wife scares me and signals tears.

"Raven…" I look up and he kisses me passionately. His tongue swipes back and forth across my lower lip and I open my mouth to that tingly sensation. When his tongue enters, I taste him. And damn he tastes good. He wraps his arms around me firmly: one hand on the back of my head to prevent me from breaking our kiss, and another on my back just to hold me steady. If his hands weren't around me, my knees would mostly have given in.

That thing called oxygen was needed, so I softly push at his chest. It takes him a while to finally let go of my lips.

He nuzzles his nose with mine, "Raven I don't think_ any_ of that is true. I think you're perfect in every way. And you're all I need, now and later."

I can't help but smile a little as he continues, "Raven you never were a 'placeholder' for me. You were always my friend, and I've always wanted you to be more than that _because_ you were always there for me. There is nothing better for me than you."

He holds my hair in his hands, "I don't want anybody else. I want this hair." He touches my arms next, "These arms." Then my waist, "This body." Then he places a kiss on my nose, "This cute little nose." Next my chin, "I want this beautiful jaw of yours." Then he takes his hands and fingers my cheeks, "I want these eyes, the ones just above your rosy cheeks." Lastly, he places a gentle chaste kiss, "And most of all, I want these lips."

I can't help but giggle (I swear to Azar I don't normally do that). He smiles in response and holds my face, "That's more than enough for me to be happy."

I kiss him chastely on the nose. My fingers roam on their own over his chest and his button down shirt. I can't help but stare at him, "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

My hands move to his back as I hug him. He buries his nose in my hair. He murmurs in my scalp, "You smell _so_ good."

I can't help but laugh. I whisper softly against his neck, "I…I love you."

He evidently hears me and brings my face to meet his. He whispers against my lips, "I love you, too."

I sigh and place my hands on his neck. With everything I said about his job and my job, there was some truth in that.

_We have enemies. Separate enemies, but all just as scary_.

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

I notice her go stiff in my arms. I look at her to notice her thinking deeply.

_Please for the love of god tell me she's not rethinking everything that just happened_.

"Rae, baby what's wrong?"

"My…job." I groan. This again?

Patiently I ask, "What about you job?" She looks at me suddenly worry taking over both of us, "We…we have enemies. They could…"

I sigh and put my chin on the top of her head and hold her tightly, "Raven I will protect you."

"I'm not worried about me." I stare at her funny, "Who…would go after me?" Stupid mistake.

"Good question, _Dick_! Who would go after the vigilante putting people in jail?"

"Rae, I didn't mean it like that. I mean…" I honestly don't know what I meant.

"Maybe we shouldn't…"

I firmly hold her face, "No, Raven. We can't let anything, or anyone, get in the way of us. I love you, and I'm not letting you go anytime soon. I'm not going to let them take you from me."

She eyes me, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry. It's just."

I squeeze her waist, "Raven I know it's going to be hard. But we've been through worse. I _want_- no I need- to be with you. We've come so far. And…I can't let you go again."

"Richard…? I've always been here." I begin thinking about what she told me last night.

**_"Because, Richard, you only visit whenever you need help."_**

"No, you were right, Rae." She stares at me confused. I place another soft kiss on her lips, "I did only come here for help, and recently I've been needing more help than ever. And I think…I think I know why."

"It's because I need you. I needed you to always be there for me, even though you were always physically there…I-I just…sometimes I feel like you're not there with me spiritually."

She calms me down when she places her hands on my shoulder, "What do you _need_ from me Richard?"

My rough thumb grazes her smooth cheek, "I need you. I need you to be there for me. Physically and mentally."

"Richard, I'll be there."

"Raven I just…I can't really explain it," I bury my head in her neck until I can finally collect my words. I sigh, "I need to be with you. I'm…so lost. And I …just need you."

I can't tell if she understands, but either way, she wraps her arms around me and holds me close.

Recently, everyone's been seeing me as the leader. I'm composed and I don't break down. But I've been counting the years since Raven and I've been a team. When Raven and I worked together, I was whole. I could think straight, I composed plans and executed them perfectly. Without Raven, things have been a mess. My team was broken in their own ways. I needed Raven to make everything right.

I couldn't be a leader. Not a good one. Not without Raven.

"Raven I need you," I repeat once more.

"Richard," she murmurs as she strokes my hair, "You keep saying that."

I bury my face in her hair and take in the scent of lavender. I'm thinking clearly. I know what I want. It will help me. I'll do better. I'll be the leader (not the act, but the real thing).

"Raven…I need you to be with me…on my team."

* * *

**How was that? I know that it's kinda confusing (even to me a little), but I tried. **

**I'm still working on those confessions and everything. If it's _really _unclear, I might just rewrite some of it. ****If necessary, I'll explain it in my next chapter.**

**Thanks for anyone who actually reads this (story and ANs).**

**READING AND REVIEWING IS MUCH HELP :)**


	4. Give Me a Sign

**AN: Here's one more chapter! I hope you enjoy**

**Sorry for any grammar/spelling/inaccuracy problems…when I type really fast I don't really see anything wrong. **

**Song: Give Me a Sign by Breaking Benjamin**

* * *

_I can feel you falling away_

_No longer the lost, no longer the same_

_I can see you starting to break_

_I'll keep you alive, if you show me the way_

* * *

_**Raven**_

•• _A Few Days Later ••_

"_**Raven…I need you to be with me…on my team."**_

"Rae? Raven? Rachel?"

I finally look up from my trance to see Roy giving me some documents. "Is there something wrong, Roy?"

"I found him." I raise my eyebrow and glance at my watch, "Wow…and that took you…a week."

He grabs a chair and sits in front of my desk, "Actually, _Jade_ found him. He's in Tibet."

I smile, "Well, I'm glad. You can finally get your mojo back."

He gets up sticking out his hand. Questioningly, I get up and shake his hand, "Was I any help?" He smirks, which is something I've missed, "I didn't need your resources as much as I thought I would. Honestly, you were more help then Dick and Ollie combined."

I smile and look back down at my paperwork, "Well, don't let me stop you. I still have…all this paperwork."

I sit back down and began stacking papers. Roy doesn't leave, "Rae, what's wrong?" I look at him faking a nonchalant look, "Nothing." He sits back down in front of me, "Try again. This time, don't lie."

I sigh and stare at him intently, "I…talked to Dick." He shrugs, "And…?" I think about my answer. Roy doesn't really need to know about the whole confession statement.

"Dick…asked me to be apart of his team." Roy rubs his now hair-free chin with a blank expression, "Do…do you want to?"

I sigh, "And that's my problem. I…I don't know." He tilts his head, "Well what do you see as the _negatives_ about getting back to _that_ side of you?" I shake my head, "I don't know…I mean, the uniform's not _that_ comfortable." We both share a laugh. I stare at my bracelet, "Maybe I'm scared of losing control." He takes my hand in his, "Rae, you could lose control doing anything. Do you _really_ want to be a superhero again?" I close my eyes and begin to reflect on my days as a Titan. I stare intently at Roy.

"No. I don't."

"There's your answer." I let go of his hand putting my face in my own, "I don't know how to tell Dick." "Dick will understand." _I'm not so sure about that._

There's a brief pause before Roy asks me, "What is so different between being a vigilante and a federal agent?"

I'm thoughtful with my answer, "I like being an agent. I'm in charge of my own team. I can make my own hours. And…I'm not completely _devoted_ to my job." I give him a caring glance, "And I love being able to solve these cases. Telling the victims what happened is hard, yes, but knowing they get closure because of me makes me feel…good. As a vigilante…I'm not able to do that. Not directly."

He pats my hand, "I think you just found your answer." I smile at my best friend, "Thank you." He walks over and kisses my cheek, "Nah, thank you." I stare at him one final time, "Call me when you find him?" He nods.

"Roy," I call just before he walks out of the building, "It doesn't matter if you're a clone or not. _You_ are my best friend." He smiles at me. Hugging me one last time he says, "I love you, Rae." I kiss his cheek, "Love you, too."

* * *

I open my door careful not to spill all the leftover paperwork. After placing the paperwork on my coffee table, I internally debate with myself if I should make tea or not. I need something to get me through the night, if all I'm doing is paperwork.

I walk as slow as a zombie towards my room. If I'm going to stay up late, I need to change into something comfortable. When I'm about to pull my shirt off, I hear a noise from behind me. "Don't stop on my account." I turn around to see Nightwing lying on his back- on my bed. He looks…peaceful.

I grimace, "I can't change with you in here." I can see his smirk in the darkness, "I've seen you naked before." I throw my pjs at him muttering, "Dick."

He smirks. I turn on the nearest lamp. When I walk back to take my pjs back, he grabs my wrists and pulls me so I'm straddling him, "You look hot in a pantsuit." I growl, "Well I feel hot, so please let me go so I can change my shirt." He chuckles, "But I kinda like this." I growl, "Seriously, Dick. I have paperwork to do."

He groans, "Why didn't you just leave it till tomorrow?" "Because I'm not a fan of leaving things to the last minute," I respond with all seriousness. He finally lets me go allowing me to walk to my bathroom so I can change. Once I walk out, I notice that he's not in my room. I grab the robe off the back of my door and place it comfortably over my shoulders.

He's sitting in the living room looking over at my papers. I backhand his head. "What the hell, Rae?" he asks rubbing the back of his head. "Government confidentiality, you ass." He continues to rub where I hit him, "Ouch. That hurt, Rae. You wanna kiss it better?" I smirk and kiss the top of his head. "That's it?" "Yep. I'm not into it tonight."

I sit down grabbing the papers, and with a pen, I begin marking out all the requirements on the sheets. We sit in silence, until he says, "I'm surprised by all the guys you've caught. It's actually impressive."

I smirk, "Well, I did all that_ with_ the appropriate amount of sleep." He smirks and moves to sit next to me. It's hard to concentrate on my papers when he puts his hand on my thigh and he begins to kiss my neck.

"Rae?" he asks acting casual. I do my best to contain my moans, "Y-yes?"

"Have you thought about my offer?"

I freeze and his touch isn't as loving. He moves his hand and lips and notices me becoming stiff.

I sigh and go back to my papers, "Richard, I have a lot I need to go over tonight." He takes my pen from me, "Raven, I'm serious." I growl back, "So am I, Dick. I need to get these papers done."

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

I think this is Raven's true superpower: avoiding the subject.

Most of me is really hoping that she'll say she'll give up being an agent to come join me. But practical parts of me are listing the likelihood of her joining me.

"Dick…" she's hesitant, "I don't know if you're aware of what you're asking me."

I look in to her violet eyes. "You already have an answer."

She sighs, "I can't give up my life to be a vigilante." I shake my head, "Is _this_ life really better?"

She finally puts her papers down, "It is to me." I take her hands, "Rae, being on The Team would be just like old times. It'll be like you're a _Titan_ again."

"You and I remember 'being a Titan' very differently." I smirk, "I remember defeating your dad. I remember that rush that came from getting rid of the bad guys." She lets go of my hands and leans on her couch, "I also remember the frustration with finding Slade. Or a certain _Boy Wonder_ struggling to even stay awake because of his lack of sleep."

"Well this is different because _my _team is more-" I just now realized how far my foot went into my mouth.

"Please, Dick. Please finish that sentence." I groan, "Raven, you know that's not what I meant." "No I don't know, so please explain." I begin to scoot closer to her, "I just meant that, we're more resourceful. And there's more of us, so we don't have to be so dependent on one person." Her glare softens and she playfully kicks my foot.

I smirk scooting even closer, "Raven, think about it." She crosses her arms over her chest, "I have thought about it, Richard. And…I don't want that life anymore. I'm happy with my life now."

I don't know why but I feel myself panic a little. I need Raven. I can't manage well without her. She's my rock. I have to be more persuasive, "Why don't you just help us on _one_ mission? See if you like it."

She folds her hands on her lap, "Richard, what is this _really _about?"

I shrug. She grimaces, "Don't say 'nothing'. That's my thing." I can't help but laugh a little. She sits up next to me, "What's _really_ up?" I exhale and reach for her hand, which she gladly gives to me.

"I feel…like I'm letting everyone down as a leader, nowadays." She moves my hair out of my face. I silently ask her to pull of my mask, and she obliges. She brushes her finger over my temple as she asks, "What do you mean?"

I lie against her couch, "I left the Titans because I thought that I wasn't needed. By that time, getting the _same_ bad guys was too easy. I needed a challenge." She rubs my temple, "So your team now is your challenge…?"

I shake my head and take her wrists from my face. I hold her hands and draw invisible circles over her thumb. "When you and I worked together, I felt like I was invincible. I felt…whole…and on top of my game. Nowadays…I didn't realize just how much I missed you."

"Richard," she says cautiously, "what are you saying?"

"I was working so well with the Titans because you were always by my side. I could come to you whenever I needed. You were always there to help me. Nowadays," I take a deep breath, "You're not as close to my reach as you used to be. I don't have anyone that I can rely on to give me good advice."

"You have Wally…" I scoff, "Wally gave up the hero business. That's why I've been coming to you more. You understand. Yeah, you're not a superhero anymore, but you're still…working for a greater cause. And now that you're a leader, you and I…we-"

She places her index finger over my lips, "This isn't about me. Just…say what you need to."

"Rae, I'm trying to tell you…that I can't be a good leader without you. That's why I want you back on the team."

"I had no idea you were so dependent on me." She begins to back away making me scared as well. I get up and try to take a step closer, but she puts her hands up. "Raven, why…why are you…what's wrong?"

She looks at the ground, "Is that why you _love_ me?" As she's looking down I walk faster towards her. I grab her shoulders, "Raven, what are you saying?"

I don't know why, but her eyes are filled with water, "Is that why you told me you love me? Because you_ need_ me to be a good leader?!"

"No! No Rae. That's not it." "Well it seems that way, Dick. I don't understand what you want."

"I want you!" if this were anyone else, I'd be frustrated with the repetition. "Raven…dammit, what's it gonna take for you to believe me? Why are you doubting _us_?"

"Because it's wrong!"

* * *

_**Raven**_

"Because it's wrong!" He looks at me and I see tears filling his beautiful baby blue eyes.

He whispers my name (more to himself instead of to me). "Why do you keep saying _things_ like that?"

_Maybe it's because I have the self-esteem the size of an ant._

"Do you truly feel that way…about us?"

I look down in shame and hurt, "I don't know. The fact that _you_ feel that way about me, in just a couple of days, is still a lot to take in. I haven't had time to analyze how I'm really feeling."

He walks closer to me (I begin to see a pattern forming), "Just…just tell me how you feel. What's on your mind?"

"I still can't figure out _how_ you could feel any of this, and towards me especially. It doesn't really add up. We're so alike, and yet we're so different. I don't know what's reality and what's a fantasy anymore. If this is a fantasy, I don't want you to wake up in the middle of our relationship asking for reality."

I see him clutching his hair in frustration. "Dammit Rae, how can you not _get it_? I love you. I don't want anyone else; I just want you. I need you more than anything. This is _long_ overdue. I feel- I know- that we were meant to be together. I've never felt this way about anyone. What do I have to do so you'll understand how much I need and love you?"

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

I can tell by her speechlessness that she was in shock. I didn't know what caused me to spill out that confession, but I was fed up with the ways he was second-guessing herself.

She doesn't see the same beautiful _angel_ that I see whenever she looks in the mirror. She doesn't see how amazing I think she is whenever she breathes in my presence.

I just don't understand why.

I am tired of Raven pushing me away because she doesn't see how beautiful and amazing I think she is. I keep hearing the same thing from her: she doesn't think we'll work because she's not "perfect" enough for me. But, God, she was more than enough.

I'm slowly understanding what Raven sees. She sees herself as some sad girl who was lucky that "someone like me" was even looking in her direction, let alone confessing his love to her. She thought that I could have anyone, and my choosing _her_ was some sort of joke. I felt like our roles were reversed. Whenever I was with her, I felt obsolete. She was the girl that always made me think about how lucky I am to even know her, let alone sleep with her.

"Tell me what you want, Raven. I don't know what else to do to make you believe me." I whisper as I walk closer and wrap my arms around her waist, "I thought…you understood."

She shakes her head biting on her thumb, "I don't understand…why you chose _me_. Of all people."

I chuckle to myself. "I chose you because…I wanted to. Yes there are other girls that I could have, but they never would've been enough. You were a mystery to me. And you were more than enough."

I run my fingers through her hair, "Raven…I don't know how else I can say it. How else can I show you that I love_ you_?"

She looks up at me, "Richard-" "Do you want me to scream it on top of the roofs? Do you want me to tell you every single day of your life? Name it and I'll do it."

She puts her hand on my cheek, and I put my hand over hers. She takes a deep breath and her eyes begin to bore into mine, "I just…want you to answer this one question."

"Yes?" "Why haven't you given up?"

"What do you mean, Rae?" "You should be frustrated. You should be tired of repeating every damn word to me. Why is it that every time I push you away, you won't let go?"

"Because I love you, and because I need you." I kiss her fingers, "But you're right. I _should_ be frustrated and tired, but I'm not. If fighting for you proves that I love you, then I will fight until told otherwise. And…I don't mind telling you all these things, because I'm not ashamed of how I feel about you. I want you to know that all I say is true. Every time I repeat the same 'I love yous', it just makes it more true."

I hold her face, "Raven I'm not ashamed of how I feel about you. I don't want to bury _this_ and I don't want to let you go."

"I know why you push me away. You're afraid. But you're not afraid of loving me, you're afraid of _me_ loving you. I know past experience hasn't been kind, but I'm not going to leave you like that. I'm not going to use you like Malchoir. I have no intention of leaving you, ever. I'm just going to have to make sure you never leave me."

I see a tear cascade down her cheek. I'm quick to wipe it off, but more come. She collapses in my arms. Just feeling her warmth in our embrace overwhelms me. I could die happy just as long as we were in each other's arms.

She fists my uniform and tightly holds. She whispers, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be so complicated." I feel her tears soak my uniform. I can't help but smile as I kiss her head. I whisper so only she can hear, "If it weren't complicated, it wouldn't be fun."

She buries her face further into my shirt, "I think…I think I understand now." I tighten my hold around her, "That's…all I want you to get out of this."

She looks up at me, tears staining her cheeks. I hold her face and lean down, "I'm okay…if we're not together _now_. I just want you to understand that I love you. Only you." I don't truly ever want to let Raven go. I want to be with her forever, but if it were necessary, I would let my bird fly.

"I don't want to let you go," I say voicing thoughts, "But if I have to…"

"No. You don't because I don't want you to let me go."

"Then…I guess I better hold on tight."

* * *

We lay in her bed, just staring at each other (and occasionally sharing kisses). One of her legs lies in between mine, and my arm is lying peacefully over her waist.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I ask hopeful. She genuinely smiles at me, "I don't _have_ to go to work. I mean I still have all that paperwork to finish." I kiss that cute little nose of hers, "That's fine. Can I stay with you then?" She nods her head. I kiss her forehead, "I'll only leave if it's necessary. I hope you…" "I understand, Richard. Don't worry."

I kiss her cheek and gaze into her eyes, "You have no idea how many times I dreamed of this. Just being able to hold you in my arms is…overwhelming."

"'Why is everyone only underwhelmed or overwhelmed? Why can't we just be _whelmed_?'" I laugh and kiss her, "You're very funny, Rae."

She sighs and her eyes bore into mine, "I'm sorry…I don't mean to push you away so much. And I'm sorry for making you wait for so long."

I tower over her and trace her facial features, "I understand, and I'm _not_ sorry. You were worth every minute."

We kiss once again. I'm lying on top of her doing my best not to squish her petite body. My hands roam from her waist all the way up to her shoulders until they make piece just playing with the strands of her hair. Her hands migrate up and down my back, her fingernails pleasurably scratching my back.

I've waited so long for this. Parts of me still can't believe it's happening. I was finally lying in bed with the love of my life, Rachel "Raven" Roth. And I can't believe how happy these moments have made me.

I let her go once I left the team. I don't have a reason to leave anymore. And I don't plan on letting anyone, or anything, take her away from me again.

* * *

**There's actually still more to this (I didn't know how long this story was originally going to be).**

**I hoped you liked the confessions. I kept writing and re-writing trying to make sense of it. **

**Please Read and Review!**


	5. Already Gone

**AN: This is the last chapter, but I do plan on doing another story after this (a sequel, if you will).**

**The dialogue at the beginning is from episode 9, 'Darkest'. So it's been a while since the last chapter. And there is a reference to Teen Titans episode 'Titan Rising'**

**Excuse my grammar errors, spelling errors, and inaccuracy, and I hope you enjoyed the story!**

**Song: Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson**

* * *

_It started with the perfect kiss then  
We could feel the poison set in  
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive  
You know that I love you so  
I love you enough to let you go_

* * *

_**Nightwing**_

"_I don't care about all that junk! I'm worried about Artemis, terrified for her! You put her right into his hands."_

"_Wally we're talking about Kaldur here."_

"_I know. Kaldur, our friend. Who in the space of a few months lost the love of his life. And found out Black Manta was his father. Isn't it possible that Aqualad might actually be…a traitor? A triple agent? He's supposed to be playing them, but are you absolutely sure…he isn't playing you?"_

* * *

If it wasn't obvious, I'm conflicted. I know Wally hates me because of the danger I put Artemis in, but I don't know if I should believe him when he says Kaldur was a traitor (yep, that's the best friend I am).

I can't deal with this right now. Stopping the invasion was becoming even more difficult every second. I tap my foot impatiently against Raven's carpet. This is the 3rd night in a row when she's late. I think I'm entitled to slight craziness.

I hear the key in the door, and behind that door is Raven. She looks…lost. Her eyes seem distant and she looks as if she was a walking zombie.

"Rae? Where the hell have you been?" It takes her a while to look up and see me. She stares at me for a few seconds before heading to her refrigerator.

I begin to follow her, and once I reach her, I put my hand on the refrigerator preventing her from opening it. "Rae, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she says almost too casual. She's not looking at me, and just staring at her refrigerator. I'm not sure if there's much more I can get out of her, so I move my hand allowing her to open her fridge. She grabs the instant noodles and begins preparing her dinner.

I sit in front of her studying her. She seems really distracted. "Raven…are you okay?" She looks up at me with a small smile that only reaches her lips and not her eyes like it usually does, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because…you don't seem _yourself_ right now." She begins pouring the hot water into her instant noodles. Sighing in defeat, I walk around the counter and wrap my arms around her waist.

"Richard, unless you want hot water burning your skin, I suggest you let go of me." I kiss her ear and rub circles along her stomach, "I'm fine. You just continue what you were doing."

"So…Wally called…" Dammit! I let go of her so I can face her, "And what'd he say…" She lets go of the kettle and puts her hands on her hips, "He wouldn't go into detail, but he told me to tell you that he's…not talking to you."

I raise my eyebrow, "Really, he said that?" She shrugs, "That was the PG version." I nod, "Well…I don't blame him. He does have a right to be mad at me."

She clicks her tongue against the top of her mouth, "Well I won't ask about it."

I sit down at her kitchen table still thinking about what happened with Wally. Raven joins me once her noodles are done. We sit across from each other in mere silence, which was rather soothing. Despite her tired eyes, she still looks so beautiful.

"Richard, do you mind?" I chuckle, "No, you're not bothering me." She scoffs, "You're gawking." "Can't help it," I say innocently, "my beautiful girlfriend makes it hard for me to tear my eyes away."

"Richard, it's my turn to ask what's wrong." I take a deep breath, "Rae, how did you know that Terra can't be trusted?" "I beg your pardon." I take her hand in mine drawing invisible circles on the back of her hand, "I mean…I remember telling you that you had a _bad_ feeling…you know, before Slade and his worms attacked. You didn't feel right about Terra, and then it turned out she was working for Slade all along. How'd you know?"

She raises her eyebrow, "Well first of all, I'm an empath…but that wasn't the only reason. I mean, I was suspicious towards how fast she learned to control her powers. But it also was the little things. The way she would hesitate when we asked her something, or how easy it was for her against our enemies. Why are you asking?"

"I…well, Wally thinks I'm being played…by a friend." She squeezes my hand, "And what do you think?" I think before answering, "I don't think so. But I've been wrong before."

She forces me to look up at her, "Richard, just follow your instincts. They usually do well for you." She gets up and begins to put her bowl away, "Can you check the machine?"

I chuckle, "Sure thing, babe." I walk up to the counter and there are only two messages.

_Beep! "Ms. Roth. Do you want face cream that makes you look 10-"_ I delete it and she looks at me funny, "You probably won't need whatever it is anyways. You're beautiful to me." She kisses my cheek, "Kiss-ass." I kiss her full on the mouth. I murmur against her lips, "I'm _your_ kiss-ass."

_Beep!_ _"Agent Roth, we would like to discuss our offer with you soon."_ I pull away and stare at her answering machine curiously. She reaches to turn it off and says, "It's probably nothing." I glare at her, "Well if it's nothing, then let me hear the rest." "Richard-"

"_If you have no intention of going on the trip, we would prefer you tell us soon. We need your response ASAP. Have a nice day."_

I look back at Raven, who is staring right back at me. "What trip?"

She sighs and grabs my hand, leading me to the couch. "The director offered me a position on a big mission. We'd be spending 3-4 months tracking terrorist leads…out of the country."

I try to process that information. "What did you tell your director?"

"I told him I'll think about it. I…I wanted to talk to you about it first." She was _actually _considering leaving, out of state, for 3-4 months! A small part of me was grateful she even considered talking to me about it, but that part was overruled by the angry _I-don't-want-her-to-leave_ side.

"Do…do you want to go?" She pauses, "I think it would be good for me."

I stare at her hiding my horror. She softly rubs my arm, "Do you want me to go?"

I growl, "You know what I'm going to say, Raven." "Then say it."

"I don't want you to go." "That's all you had to say."

"But it's not going to change your decision, is it?" She sighs closing her eyes. When she opens them she takes my hands, "I think if I do this, I could really help."

"It could be dangerous." "I've been through worst; remember Tokyo?" "Not funny Raven."

We sit in silence. I finally look into her eyes, which convey no emotion, "Why do you want to go?" She gives me a small smile, "So I can make a difference." I was tempted to start the whole "if you were on my team" conversation again.

"Why don't you want me to go?"

"Why do you think, Rae?" Her expression hardens, "Dick, I know it's more than just 'because I'll miss you' this time."

"I thought it was obvious." She lets go of my hand and snarls, "Well it's not. So please explain it to me, I'm just going to be gone 3 months." "Looking for terrorists!"

"Raven, I don't want you to go because I'm afraid. Dammit Raven, this trips sounds _really_ dangerous! I just got you back, it would kill me if I lost you again."

She stares at me with a blank expression. Her posture softens and she moves so she's sitting in my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck, "Richard, you're not going to lose me."

"You don't know that," I mutter as I wrap my arms around her waist. I nuzzle her neck, "I don't want to take that risk."

"What's life without a little risk?" "A one where I don't have to worry as much."

She sighs and kisses my nose, "Richard, do you even know how much I worry each time you're out defending the city. Please understand that I'm not doing this to travel, I'm doing this to help."

I sigh against her collarbone, "When do you have to leave?"

"Once I accept the offer, I leave 2 weeks." I squeeze my eyes shut against her skin, "I'm not okay with this."

She brings my head up forcing me to look at her, "I'm going to be fine. Besides, you have the invasion to worry about." I shake my head and place small kisses along her skin, "Compared to you leaving, the invasion is insignificant. Let the people defend themselves."

"Dick, you don't mean that, and don't think like that. I'm going to be fine. What's the worse that could happen?"

"I don't want to answer that."

* * *

"Hey…Dick." I turn around from my furious typing to see Wally West standing behind me. He's rocking on his feet and his hands are tucked into the pockets of his jeans.

I go back to the screen, "I thought we weren't on speaking terms."

He sighs, "Superboy…told me that you haven't been yourself lately." I finally stop what I'm doing to turn around and look at my best friend. He's running his hands through his hair nervously. My eyes are wide behind my mask, "What'd he say?"

"Apparently for the past week you've been off your game. You've been working nonstop for 12 hours, and once your done, you would just leave without telling anybody where you are."

I look at my feet. "Raven also called." I give him a hard look, "Did she say anything?" He shrugs, "No I just should talk to you."

I unconsciously take a seat on the floor and rub my face with my hands, "I'm just in a big…complicated mess." He slowly begins walking to me. When he finally sits next to me he says, "Feel free to talk."

I take a deep breath, "Raven's…leaving." It even hurts me to say it out loud.

Wally is silent for a long period of time. "I don't really want her to go." He asks, "Where's she going?" I explain her job as a fed. and her search trip.

"Dick she's been through worse. What's the big deal?" I shake my head, "Maybe I'm just tired of us being apart all the time. I mean, I left her to go lead _this_ team. Then when I hear that we're in the same neighborhood, we begin spending time together again. Now, now that we're…together, she's leaving."

Wally eyes me cautiously, "Have you told her that?" I nod and begin playing with my hands, "She doesn't want me to worry, _especially_ since I have this 'Black Manta' problem." I thought I was a big idiot for mentioning it, but Wally doesn't tense up like I thought he would. He sighs and pats my back, "She's gonna come back Richard. You haven't lost her yet."

My head is stuck on that word: _yet_.

* * *

"You didn't have to help me pack, Richard." I chuckle and zip up her duffle bag for her, "Our time together is numbered. I want to spend every second with you."

She smirks, "Okay. Just as long as I get my space when it comes to the bathroom." My laugh is only half there. Once we're done, Raven begins looking at her watch. She turns to me and wraps her arms around my waist, "I'm really going to miss you, Dick."

I cradle her face in my hand, "Enough where you think you don't want to go?" She shakes her head, "I can't have this conversation again. They _need_ me out there."

"So do I. I need you, Rae." She kisses my cheek softly, "Think about it this way, I'm only gone for a short period of time. After, you can have me all to yourself."

"Forever?" She smiles genuinely, "Forever."

Our lips meet in a passionate embrace. I hold her to me as tight as possible not wanting to ever let go. She could get hurt. She could die. I could never see her again.

I pull away, "How long do you have until we need to go to the airport?" She sighs and looks at her watch once more, "3 hours." I smile and kiss her collarbone, "Then show me how much you're going to miss me."

* * *

After making love for the last time, we had to slowly redress and head to the airport. During the entire car ride, I made sure I was holding on to some part of her (whether I kissed her during the red lights or held her hand as I drove didn't matter).

I finally give Raven her duffle bag as we're standing at the airport. I felt somewhat relieved that her team was going with her (which would make it easier for her to work with people).

Once we finally put away all the bags, we wrap our arms around each other. I nuzzle my face in her hair.

"Try to be safe." She chuckles, "You know me." I can't even laugh right now.

I stare at her beautiful face. I was going to miss her violet eyes and her beautiful lips. Oh god, 3-4 months without affection!

She brings my head down and kisses me softly. I gently ask permission, and she allows my tongue to enter. I have to savor the taste of her. We finally pull away. I let a tear fall out of my eyes as she rubs my cheek. I put my forehead against hers, "I'll wait for you."

She rubs my cheek, "That's too much for me to ask of you." I shake my head, "You don't have a choice." "3 months is a long time, Richard." "I've waited almost 6 years, I think 3 months is nothing."

She sighs and takes off her gold necklace. It's a chain with the letter "R" hanging. She clasps it around my neck and says, "This is my _favorite_ necklace. Keep it safe, please."

"It will almost be new when I give it back." She chuckles and I kiss her. I nuzzle my nose against hers, "Don't…don't get killed okay." She nods, "You too."

I don't know what I'll do if _anything_ happens to _my _Raven.

I hold her close to me when someone yells that it's time to go. We kiss one final time. She murmurs against my lips, "I'll be back before you know it."

"All in one piece?" I ask jokingly but completely serious. She kisses my cheek and says, "No promises."

* * *

**I'm sorry this one was really short, but I needed to get to the point.**

**This story as a whole was really fun to write. The sequel that I plan to do is going to be Raven coming home. **

**Thanks to everyone that read!**

**Please Read and Review**


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